Bobby Sunshine for President

Recently, DJ, humorist and liberal crusader, Bobby Sunshine announced his candidacy for President of the United States. Mr. Sunshine lives the lifestyle of a hippy, yet remains politically active. At his press conference, Mr. Sunshine announced his agenda.

"I wanted everyone to know that I'm announcing my candidacy for the President of the United States, man," said Mr. Sunshine. "All the corporate capitalists are ruining America, man. They want to run the government like a business instead of serving the people. When you run a government like a business, man, you have people getting loans to do things that you normally wouldn't do. I believe that nobody should spend more than they make. Not even the government."

"The first thing I would do is I'd get rid of the Department of the Interior. It controls the national parks. I would let Disney run 'em, man. We can split the profits and use the money to pay the national debt."

"I have some great ideas about how to reduce the National Debt, man. My first idea is to create a new tax. What we do, man, is we tax all political bribes at ninety percent. And, don't say there's no such thing as political bribes, man. I would set up a special branch of the Internal Revenue Service to monitor the finances of politicians. If they make a hundred thousand dollars a year, after four years, tax everything over that."

"We would monitor their finances for life. If one dollar comes in over their salary, it would be taxed. With every thousand dollars, jail time would be mandatory. Jail time would increase as the money increases. And all the taxes would be paid toward the national debt."

When asked about drugs, Bobby Sunshine said that he would legalize all drugs. "Anybody can get any drugs they want now. The only people that would be pissed is the CIA. We'd be cutting into their drug smuggling operations."

Bobby Sunshine has organized his own Political Party, the Party Party. "When I worked at the radio station, I had the chance to go to conventions for both Republicans and Democrats, man. I don't even know why they call them Parties, man. Nobody would even light up a joint! In the Party Party we get high and talk about ways to save America, man."

Bobby Sunshine summarized his campaign by saying: "I'm running for President, man, because we need somebody who doesn't care about money running the government. As long as corporate capitalists keep running the country, it'll be a mess.

So, I encourage everyone to vote for Bobby Sunshine for President in 2020. I mean, how can the country get ahead if they don't have a head in the White House? Join the Party

Party and party for your next President, the Party President, Bobby Sunshine! Stay cool, America!"

I don't know if that would be the best for America but it certainly wouldn't be dull. Besides, who else would you vote for? Trump?

For more from this reporter, visit https://commaful.com/play/boblong/