Cheerios are actually a terrible bio-hazard!
Cheerios are now labeled as a level 967.00569848 billion negative 100 biohazard. This is due to the mysterious "ingredients" mixed into the cheerio mixture before baking. These cheerios have caused the people infected to display violent traits, eating people on sight and passing on the cheerio virus of zombie doom. We tracked down a cheerio official putting dug up dead bodies into a truck label FOR MAKING THE SECRET INGREDIENT TO TURN CHEERIO EATERS INTO ZOMBIES. When asked what they were doing the replied with "absolutely nothing, hey you want some of these yummy cheerios?" Back at the headquarters of Yesterday News Phil has eaten the cheerios and has eaten twelve staff members. We are still not sure what causes these mysterious zombie effects.
